Book Review: The Real Rules

Picture of the book from Amazon

I recently stumbled into this book that I found in National Bookstore: "The Real Rules: How to find the Right Man for the Real You". Like many single girls in her 20's I have been wondering how do I find the Right Guy for me. Then this book came along. The title sounds promising, and seeing that the author is a psychologist, I knew she had to know what she was talking about. After a few more quick scans of the content, I bought a copy, and rushed home to study the so-called 'rules'.

It's indeed a good buy. 

I liked how the author stressed that women should not rush to be in a committed relationship, but rather, take her time in finding the Right Guy who loves the Real Her. The book discourages "games" and tactics, that make us appear like someone we are not, or show that we don't care when we really do, because this creates a false image and makes room to many misunderstandings. We want someone who would love us for our real natural selves, so that we can find the right match- a guy who is truly compatible for us. 

Also, I agree with her in her point that sometimes, we want the guy so much to be The One, that we do not ask ourselves if we really like him. We do not see the reasons why he will be disqualified, or we do not see the "warning signs" especially when one has been single for so long. Being objective about his character is important so that we will not waste our time with someone, 'hoping' he will change/improve in the future. One great rule was "Do not Fall in Love with a Man's Potential". 

She says in the book that the sooner we find out if we are compatible, the better. That's why it is very important to ask questions, and really get to know the person, before getting too involved in the wrong relationship, with the wrong guy... It's not about being in a relationship, and it's not about getting him to propose. It's about finding a compatible guy, who loves you for who you are, treats you right, and having a healthy relationship with him (commitment automatically follows a healthy relationship).

There are quite a bunch of guidelines in the book regarding the warning signs, and a list of good traits to look for in a partner. 

Over-all I would rate this 4/5. The reason why I did not give a perfect score, was because there could have been more real-life examples or tips on how to deal with common situations with the seemingly "right man". But generally speaking, this is one of the best relationship and self-help books that I've read. It was published years ago, on 1997, but the rules still apply up to this day. Its a great book for single ladies. I highly recommend this book! If you have been wanting to find the one, and be in a healthy relationship, then grab a copy of this book and learn several things from Psychologist Barbara De Angelis. 

It’s More Fun with Anti-gravity Yoga

Students during anti-gravity yoga. picture from Flow in the City event held last August 4, 2012

Yoga is a form of exercise that has steadily gained popularity in the recent years as a way of stretching, toning, and relaxing one’s body. By using deep breathing and gracefully moving to different poses, yoga brings many positive benefits. It’s no wonder why many people have come to incorporate yoga in their lives, and why there has been an increase in both yoga students, and yoga teachers. Those who regularly practice yoga enjoy an ultimate form of relaxation after every session, and find that they are better equipped in dealing with the inevitable stressors found in life, besides the increase in flexibility, toning of muscles, decrease in blood pressure, and a better feeling of over-all wellness.

Today yoga has branched out to many forms. There is Ashtanga yoga, Yin-yang yoga, Bikram Yoga, Iyengar Yoga, and did you know that there is now a form of yoga called “Anti-gravity yoga”?

This form of yoga was invented in US by Christopher Harrison on 2007, combining yoga practice and aerial arts. It makes use of a silky hammock, used as a support and instrument to the various anti-gravity yoga positions above the ground. A lot of the positions are inverted poses, with your head below, and your feet up in the air, as the hammock holds your body up in the air. On regular yoga, inverted positions are only done by the advanced-level students because of the difficulty, and the amount of strain this puts on the vertebrae of the back and neck. But with anti-gravity yoga, the advantage is that even beginners can do the inverted poses without straining or putting pressure on the spine. 

When I tried this for the first time, I admit that it took a certain amount of courage to let go of my fears of “falling down” or hitting my head on the floor. But once I decided to let go and trust the hammock, I found myself upside-down like an acrobat in a circus, with a lot of relief, and a rush of adrenaline flowing in my body. It was fun and relaxing. It takes a little getting used to for holding the inverted positions, but I noticed that the more I learned to let go and ease into the inverted pose, the more relaxation I got, and eventually my body adjusted to it. It's a moment of bliss on air.

For those interested in trying, Anti-gravity Yoga is now being offered here in Metro Manila by the Yoga studio named “Beyond Yoga” which is located in Il Terrazzo, Quezon City, and by September the second branch will open in High Street, Fort Bonifacio. Unconventional, fun, and challenging, Anti-gravity yoga is a new way to bring back fun in yoga. A must-try for yoga enthusiasts!

My advice for Job-hunters

More often than not, the advice we hear regarding job-hunting and choosing a career is “to follow your heart”. As Steve Jobs mentioned, “Work is going to occupy a large part of your life and the only way to be satisfied is to love what you do.” We can all agree that this is the right thing to do, and I will discuss more of this later. However, it is not enough to know this. Lots of preparation I believe, is key.

There is something terribly wrong with the timing of all these career talks and career counselling that students get: it’s too late. One might have excellent grades, savvy interview skills and the capacity to create the perfect resume, but without the skills or knowledge for their dream jobs, it's hard to land the jobs that they truly want.

To explain further, let’s go back to a time when they were still high school students. Some of them didn’t have the advantage of having good role models or mentors to guide them with their career path. So they pick a famous course like Nursing and focus on the money, or they pick a versatile course like Psychology and see what happens after graduating, because they are still “confused”. By the time they are in their graduating year in college, if that is the only time they have exposure to these excellent career seminars and career counselling, many would have wasted 4 years of studying a course which is far from their heart’s desire, and many of them would have gained the skills and knowledge that sadly they will not even use because they would realize too late that they want to do something else. Instead of being a skilled graduate equipped to handle their dream job, a bunch of these graduates would be under qualified with the lack of experience and skills for the job that they truly want. I’m speaking not only from my observations of others, but from my own personal experience as well.

Self-awareness is very important. One should know what one wants. My wish is for career counselling seminars to be mandatory for high school seniors, who are still going to pick their course in college. It is the best time to guide them to their own respective paths so that no time and money in college is wasted. The right course will be studied, and they will gain relevant skills and knowledge towards their career aspirations. There will be a career match, and most probably, they will land a job that they will love. Also, the right attitude of discipline and focus on building his/her knowledge and skills is very important. That for me is the best way to get the perfect job.

For those who weren’t fortunate enough to have this formula in their lives, my advice is to take time to cultivate this self-awareness. Be honest about what skills you enjoy doing, what industries you are excited about, and what activities fuels you, instead of drains you. Once you gain insight, you can try to push your luck in getting that job. If you’re not lucky, don’t lose hope. Build up your skills by internship, learning from a mentor or doing related tasks during your free-time. And don’t forget, there’s google and youtube to learn more about just about anything. We only have one lifetime. Make it count, and go for your perfect job that bring meaning to your days, and inspires great works to be done. Not only will you be happy and fulfilled, money will also follow. As stated in the bible “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Why I should be hired as a writer

I've always loved writing. Since I was 8 years old, I would consistently write in my personal journal about my random ramblings of the day, including my fears, wishes, dreams, and my plans. At school, when we were required to compose essays, words flowed easily from my hand and I found myself expressing my thoughts perfectly in paper, rather than verbally in front of the class. I was that awkward, shy student who dreaded oral recitations, but loved composing essays. While others had the gift of speech, I had the gift of writing. I loved writing, and I still love writing to this day.

Growing up I never considered using this skill for my future job or career path, because I had my mind set in reaching the skies as a flight attendant one day. Sadly, that day never really came, though in a way I have experienced the jet-setter lifestyle, as an assistant cabin crew for a Middle-Eastern airlines. That requires its own separate blog entry.

Recently I find myself wanting to write for a living.

If you have the power to hire a new writer, hire me! :-)

why me?

Let me count the ways.

1. I enjoy writing.

As I mentioned earlier, since my childhood days, I would rather write than to talk in front of people. I express myself best in writing. Time spent in writing, is a beautiful flow of time where I find myself relaxed, in the zone, and real.


2. I have my own writing voice.

I don't copy anyone's style. I'm not chic-lit material which can be shallow, annoying, and superficial. I write naturally and effortlessly, without lots of jargons or slang words. My writing is me, and reading my work is like having a cup of coffee with me.


3. But I can adjust to another writing style too.

If you like chic-lit I can give you chic-lit. Throw in THE boyfriend, the materialistic heroine who is too thin, her friends with similar personality disorders, and of course, some scandals.

If you like me to promote your product/services, I would love to write about the features, the advantages and the benefits of your product/services.

I'm happy to adjust my work, on the needs of the business.


3. I have a good grasp of the English language, English grammar, proper spelling, and punctuation.

I can edit my own work to near perfection, if not perfection. I can write American-style articles for your business' needs. Readers will not have a headache from too much wrong grammar or poor spelling.


4. I enjoy doing research.

To be able to write factual-based articles with reliable information, it must be backed by thorough research. I love researching about what I'm going to write about, especially if I have very little knowledge of the topic, in order to create an interesting and informative article.


 5. I'm open to new experiences (and challenges).

As a writer, it is good to have a lot of new experiences to be able to write about the latest trends, news, products, and to keep the inspiration flowing. Not to mention, to have a wide selection of topics or experiences to write about, as it is better to write about things that one has experienced themselves.
I'm willing to dive into new experiences for as long as it's not illegal, a crime, harmful to society, or a real threat to my life.


6. I'm a silent and efficient worker.

I'm not much of a talker, but I get things done. With publishing of articles/online content/books, there are deadlines.

If there are deadlines to meet, I will adjust, manage my time, and beat the deadlines. If it is a hard deadline to meet, I will work quietly with zero complaints, until I finish the work.


7. I can write blog entries, informational material, product reviews, feature articles, ESL material for English language learning, short stories, poems, love letters, and business letters.

I would love to write on topics about travel, food, lifestyle, people, inspiration/motivation articles, culture and book reviews.


8. I love learning new things, and I'm open to constructive criticism.

This trait, I believe is a strength and a positive trait for any profession/job. To keep improving, one must keep learning new things. Learning can improve one's skill, knowledge, or attitude, sometimes all of the above, making a person more competent in today's modern world of information and technology.


9. I'm reliable.

Rain or shine, expect me to go to work and get the job done :-)


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you like this blog/this blog entry and I've convinced you enough to consider me for your opening,

or if you want to hire me right away, you can send me an e-mail at dinx1984@yahoo.com  :-)

I also have another e-mail address written in the resume that I sent to your company, if I applied to the vacancy in your company.


Thank you very much!

I'm looking forward to the day when I start writing for a living.    :-)