Book Review: The Real Rules

Picture of the book from Amazon

I recently stumbled into this book that I found in National Bookstore: "The Real Rules: How to find the Right Man for the Real You". Like many single girls in her 20's I have been wondering how do I find the Right Guy for me. Then this book came along. The title sounds promising, and seeing that the author is a psychologist, I knew she had to know what she was talking about. After a few more quick scans of the content, I bought a copy, and rushed home to study the so-called 'rules'.

It's indeed a good buy. 

I liked how the author stressed that women should not rush to be in a committed relationship, but rather, take her time in finding the Right Guy who loves the Real Her. The book discourages "games" and tactics, that make us appear like someone we are not, or show that we don't care when we really do, because this creates a false image and makes room to many misunderstandings. We want someone who would love us for our real natural selves, so that we can find the right match- a guy who is truly compatible for us. 

Also, I agree with her in her point that sometimes, we want the guy so much to be The One, that we do not ask ourselves if we really like him. We do not see the reasons why he will be disqualified, or we do not see the "warning signs" especially when one has been single for so long. Being objective about his character is important so that we will not waste our time with someone, 'hoping' he will change/improve in the future. One great rule was "Do not Fall in Love with a Man's Potential". 

She says in the book that the sooner we find out if we are compatible, the better. That's why it is very important to ask questions, and really get to know the person, before getting too involved in the wrong relationship, with the wrong guy... It's not about being in a relationship, and it's not about getting him to propose. It's about finding a compatible guy, who loves you for who you are, treats you right, and having a healthy relationship with him (commitment automatically follows a healthy relationship).

There are quite a bunch of guidelines in the book regarding the warning signs, and a list of good traits to look for in a partner. 

Over-all I would rate this 4/5. The reason why I did not give a perfect score, was because there could have been more real-life examples or tips on how to deal with common situations with the seemingly "right man". But generally speaking, this is one of the best relationship and self-help books that I've read. It was published years ago, on 1997, but the rules still apply up to this day. Its a great book for single ladies. I highly recommend this book! If you have been wanting to find the one, and be in a healthy relationship, then grab a copy of this book and learn several things from Psychologist Barbara De Angelis.